all.you.need.is.one

How I Wish.....

2006-12-27T22:37:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...Been a really long time since I last updated....
So........It's time I give my blog a lil' attention and lovin'..haha...

Oh...I forgot..Merry Christmas ppl and Happy Holidays...
And talking bout hols...I'm like counting down the days to school reopen day...It sucks big time..

Christmas is a time for wishing..heh...So do bare with my long list of wishes...

How I wish....

My grandmother is still alive...
My dad ain't so bias...
My brother would be more mature...
My mum be more understanding...
My sister more sensible...
My dogs have long lives...
I hadn't met Michael...
Kyle be more independent...
I can lose weight faster...haha..
Holidays are longer...
My friends always happy...
More outings for W15f...
For World Peace...
I'd be richer...lol..
I don't dislike my dad so much....
I don't fight with my sister so often...

There are so many I wish...But some things are unavoidable..
I just had a major disagreement with my dad and i'm really really mad at him now...
Like totally mad...
Like I feel like slapping him in the face and tellin' him he's being fcukin' bias...
But I can't...
Simply cause he's my dad...

I hate the way my dad talks to me...
I hate the way he shouts at me when he's mad..
I hate the way he's so friggin' Bias...
I hate the way he thinks he's always right...
I hate the way he ask me to do stuff for him and not be appreciated..
I hate the way he treats my sister and brother better...

I just feel that I'm never appreciated...
Even when I do stuff for the family and does everything he wants me to do...
All I get is scolding and shouting from him...
What the Fcuk...
Why????
This is so bloody unfair...
Can't he treat me better?..
In his eyes..
I'm prolly just rubbish...
If so...why bring me into this friggin' world dude..
If I had a choice...
I'd rather not be in this world...
I'd rather move out..
If I could....

Family????
What the hell....

Someone Will Find You...

2006-11-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

"My name is Ashlee Tan. I've spent more than 18 years in this world. Where I live is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you, or someone close to being like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes - someone to helps us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you."

Michael

2006-08-26T16:52:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...

I'm just feeling really pissed now so I'm gonna try and take it out on this space I've got...
What the hell is wrong with him...
Everytime..and I mean Everytime..when I finally seem to get him outta my head, he comes back with some new tricks up his sleeves and gets me back to where we started off at...
It's always like that...and it really makes me wonder when will all his S**T stop...
I mean...Michael...I really really still have feelings for you..You know that and I know that...
And you keep telling me you have feelings for me and I keep falling for that...
Pls don't say you love me when you don't know for sure...and pls don't make promises you can't keep...
I just wanna live my life...even if it's gonna be without you...

“I forgot you're the guy who loves to rip the rug out from under me just when I feel like we've given some sort of stable ground.”

Whatever...
Ashlee...

We'll Stay The Same..

2006-08-25T20:39:00.000+08:00

Hey guys...I'm Back!!!...lol..For another update...

The main purpose of this blog is to thank every single person who was involved in making yesterday happen...Everything turned out GREAT!!! I mean it...We went, We Rocked and We really enjoyed "The Soundtrack Of Our Lives"...But of course, there are some ppl who I really really wanna thank personally...

Dinee: Thanks for the banner...It was a great job done in such a short time...
Sabitah: Thanks for taking time to design and make the black book and carrying them to school and back home almost everyday...
Shu Hui: Thanks for the test tubes....really...Without you, I guess the door gifts wouldnt have happened...And also, thanks to u and Fei Fei for staying over at my place a night b4 to help with the preparation..
Cindy: Thanks for designing the Guest Book..It was brilliant...
Chu Yun and Diana: Awesome job done as the "Finance Ministers"...heh..Thanks...
Jenny: Thanks for wrapping the prizes for the games..heh..and the truths and dares you came out with..
Clara: The class move was really sweet...
Wandi: Thanks for the tickets and for being really really a great help throughout the whole event yesterday....
Shawn: Thanks for everything....Seriously...I really appreciated everything you've done...from booking the chalet to bringing all the food u've brought...Help me thank ur parents too...
Ms Loh Siew Heng and Ms Grace Leong: Thanks for being a part of our wonderful evening... I'll never forget you guys for sure...

Last but not least...To everyone who was present...Thanks...thanks and thanks...I really hope that the bonds we've built as a class will stay the same for always and forever...
I'll definitely be looking forward to our next chalet/gathering and the next and the next....heh...

Take care everyone...and we'll definitely meet again...soon:)

"Sometimes people disappoint you...Sometimes they surprise you...But you won't really get to know them...Until you listen for what's in their Heart..."

Cheers,
Ashlee...

Soundtrack Of Our Lives...

2006-08-18T01:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys..Yea..I know..U guys have prolly stopped checking in on my blog already since I don't seem to update alot..heh..well..just hope u guys'll see this post...

School: Let's see..Semester one's ending in like 6 days time, which is 144 hours or 8640 minutes ...Can't really believe it..I mean..it seems like it was a week ago when I first walked into W15F with the sentance "Hey guys...I'm Ashlee..You guys can call me Ash..."..lol...Well..Time really flies I guess..There's no such word as "wait" in Time's dictionary...I really really don't want this semester...What can I say..I love my class..everyone in it....every facilitator we have..well..maybe not all..but most..I just have one line for every single one of them.....
"As we go on..we'll remember...all the times we...had together...And as our classes change..come whatever...we will still be...Friends Forever...":)
Sometimes, the words in an overated song can really be meaningful...

Class Chalet: Can't wait for the 24th...Class chalet...It should really be happeneing..heh..With most of the class turning up..and all of our facilitators..It'll definitely be the party of the year..heh..I guess...The theme for the chalet..."Soundtrack Of Our Lives"...To me, W15F has already become a soundtrack of my life..seriously...I hope it's the same for everyone else..

Michael: Feelings for him...still strong...Feelings for us.....very extremely uncertain...I mean..what can I say..I'm just not too sure if we'll have a future together...

Holidays: Hopefully I'll get to work alot...then I won't be bored and I'll be "rich"....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....jking...
working part-time = earning enough cash for survival..:p

Alright...guess I should end here..It's almost 2a.m. and I'm pretty tired now...Still thinking if I should be present at school tomorrow or not..you'll find out in a few hours eh..heh..

Well, as usual....

“So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."

Take Care..
Love,
Ashlee...

Finally!!!!!

2006-07-29T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hey guys..It's me..I know it's been quite some time since I've last updated..But all that matters is that I'm updating now right?..haha..Anyway..been a really busy last few weeks with school written all over my head..lol..The only thing that was fun last week was prolly the movie thing with some of my classmates and one of our facilitators who is really cool and nice:) The movie itself tho was pretty boring until the climax which was at the end of it..heh..Anyway, to Jenny, Get Well Soon!...To the rest of the ppl in W15F, Enjoy the rest of the semester alright...And to all of our facilitators, We love you!!!!....haha...Well, I'm just gonna end here for now..But i'll prolly touch up on this post when I get the chance...

"Every moment spent in a certain place, with a certain someone, at a certain time is definitely worth remembering...Because at the end of the day, it's all these memories that makes who we are..."

Cheers
Ashlee:)

Moments...

2006-07-16T13:53:00.000+08:00

Heya...

I'm updating now aren't I...lol..Just have a lil' patience guys......................................

Alright alright...I'm slow in updating..I'll just admit that..haha...Anyway...I'm prolly just gonna be bloggin about some stuffs at hand...like school and so on...read on to find out...heh..

"You cannot run away from weakness; you must fight it out or perish.... And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?"

What a phrase...At the moment...my weakness'd prolly be Michael...So...I should fight him or I'd die?...lol..I'm guessing that's what the phrase means?...I don't know..Maybe it means to fight the feelings I have for him?....I'm certain tho..that I can't run away from the feelings I have for him..Even if I try, he'll find me somehow...He must be with the C.I.A or somefin'....Oh well, there're like 2 roads in front of me..one's to forget, fight off the feelings I have for him and move on..and the other's to hang on and see where it takes me...And I'm clueless on which road to take...I just want to live my life...

School...What can I say...I'm practically slacking off with school..My grades are moving down..I'm tired...I need a break...

My band...We'll be playing at Vintage Rock Bar in Sept...16's the age limit..so let me know if u need tickets...

TV....Been watching Prison Break...Brilliant Show...Wicked Casts...Amazing story line...seriously..Watch It!!!!....It's GREAT...

Oh yea..Just to back track abit..Thanks to Jenny, Shu Hui, Diana, and of course my darling brother for that really memorable NDP preview..heh..Next year, Chu Yun and Cindy...U guys better be there too...lol..

Movies....We should all start some" a movie every week thing"....lol..Watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean-Dead man's chest' with some of my classmates was definitely a great experience..hahaha...

Alright...I think I'm gonna end off here..it's getting a lil' long..and naggy..haha..

"Sometimes a moment settles and hovers and remains for much more than a moment.... And sound stops and movement stops for much, much more than a moment.... And then the moment was gone...."

Signing off...Take care everyone..
Cheers,
Ashlee...

One More Try....

2006-07-02T02:41:00.000+08:00

Hey..to everyone who is reading this entry...

ppl are like nagging at me to update..asking me why am I stuck on that Fun Fun Tuesday..haha..well..so here I am..updating..before the next soccer match starts...Brazil VS France..should be quite a decent match to watch...

To start off..I've missed almost 4 days of school this week..Been pretty much down with bad bad viruses...I'll spare u guys the details..it's a long list..haha...I'm not the only one tho..some of my classmates are also hit by the whole getting sick thing..Get well soon eh!!!....And to those who have been concerned bout my recovery...thanks..

Oh...Guess what...I talked to Mitch today..just as I was gonna give up on him...He was being all sweet and nice and cheesy....and I just can't bring myself to tell him that I'm mad at him for making me wait so long to get a chance to talk to him.. Someone pls tell me I don't have feelings for him..cause I definitely won't be able to convince myself about that..He said things that hinted alot to me and it meant alot to me..I just don't know where am I heading with him now....I guess i'll have to wait and see...I just don't wanna miss anything this time as I did last time..

Well...match is starting..so I'm gonna end in just a bit...right after this........

"There's no shame in being afraid...Hell, we're all afraid....What you got to do is figure out what you're afraid of, because when you put a face on it you can beat it...Better yet, you can use it..."

Peace out..
Ashlee..

Fun Fun Tuesday!!!

2006-06-14T03:25:00.000+08:00

Alright..I'm posting this entry cause I made everyone who went to Pasir Ris park to blog tonight...So I can't not blog when I made everyone blog right?..haha..OK..lol...

Today was a pretty fun day i'd say..Or should I say yesterday..lol..Anyway, it was a really fun-filled day at Pasir Ris park with me, my friends and Lancer..haha..Oh ya..with my bro and Auntie Diana too..ahha..To Shu Hui...Thanks for organising this..It was really an awesome day...And to Chu Yun, Jenny, Diana, Cindy, Wei Lun, Felix, Shu Hui(once again), Glenn and Lancer...Thanks for being there..You guys made today rock..I'm really looking forward to more of such outings in the future...heh:)

Can't imagine life without being in the same class as you brilliant bunch of friends:) But oh well..Let's enjoy the times we have now and hope that the times will never end yea??...
;)

Here goes...

"Every song has an end. But there’s no reason not to enjoy the music."

Nitez...
Ashlee..

I Am The Captain Of My Soul..

2006-06-13T02:06:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone..I'm back to update my blog..Got a tagbox up so just hit me up there aight:)

Today, I was on the phone with Danny and somehow, we started talking bout the future.. Like where are we gonna be in 10 years time..haha..I've know Danny since way back and he's really the last person who'd talk bout the future no matter if it's his or others'...SO...It was kinda weird..lol..

But anyway, he told me that he's not doing well in College and all he has is his rugby..He seems really concerned and it scares me somehow..I mean..where am I gonna be in 10 years time..Danny was saying to me..."Come on..you could go somewhere with your band..make great music..or just get married and find a rich husband...or just be a writer(I used to wanna become a writer but not anymore cause I really don't have what it takes..haha..)..."

But what do I really want out of life?..Who will I see myself as in 10 years?...Where will I be then?..Have you guys even thought about it before?..Bout your life?..Your Future?..

Seriously, if you ask me now.."Hey Ashlee, what do you want in life?"
I'd prolly tell you.."Hmmm...I wanna be a rock star...ya know..I'd wanna perform in front of really huge crowds with a live band...touching ppl with the songs I write and music I make...And everynight when I get home..A guy who loves me as much as I love him will be there waiting for me(maybe Mitch or Kyle..heh)...and maybe i'll have a couple of kids then?Who know..haha..And during weekends I get to hang out with my family and friends..Make stupid comments bout how we used to be like in High School or Poly..lol..."

But....that's the way I want life to turn out for me in the future NOW..Who know maybe one day, I might lose all my inspiration and I can't write good songs anymore..or maybe I might not like to sing in the future..or what if someone else special other than Mitch or Kyle comes into my life a few years down the road...There are just so many "maybes" and "what ifs"..People change..So do dreams and goals and the way ppl look at life and what they want out of life...But there is one thing that doesnt change tho...It's that u're the one who controls all of that..You are what you'll be...You are where you'll be..

"It matters not how strait the gate, or how charged with punishments the scroll...I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul"

Sweet dreams..
Ashlee

All You Need Is One...

2006-06-08T19:52:00.000+08:00

Heya...Have nothing better to do at the moment.... so here I am..Updating my blog..heh..

"People always leave...But sometimes, they come back.."

I totally agree with that line..But why do they always come back at the wrong time..Why did he have to disappear for almost 2 years and then come back and flood my mind with all those memories...Making promises that I don't even have an idea if they'll come true or not...Making me confuse bout everything...Screwing up how I feel for someone else..Why?????...I obviously still have feelings for u...Even the blind can tell...

Just cause of this, I have been thinking alot and trying to sort out my train of thoughts..But, what's the point..I'm really really confused..

"At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, that are at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world. 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one."

But how do I know who is that "One"?...

Ashlee..

You Make Me Feel...

2006-06-05T13:26:00.001+08:00

Hey ppl..I know..I blogged last night..but oh well..I'm sitting at my com with nothing to do..So I thought I should just get a new entry up just in case I disappear for a long time..haha..

Just not long ago this morning, I had a really short but nice chat with this friend of mine who might be more than a friend to me...I seriously don't know what I'm feeling and why I feel this way...I just hope that something amazing will happen between me and him...lol...Don't ask me y?..haha..I just feel so...3 years.. are things finally gonna go right with us...or is it all too late...

Might be meeting Jenny tonight for dinner...Congrats on moving to ur new crib eh..heh:) I'll be there to crash ur room soon..haha..jking..

First day of Hols and I'm already bored..somebody save me..lol.
So..recently..I havent been inspired to write much..just slacking around...Hope I get some inspirations soon..

I'm gonna go get a shower and find something to do..maybe go kill a bird or 2..lol..kidding..

Anyway...here goes..

“People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just gonna work out. People are wrong.”

Good Day..
Ashlee..

Long time no blog..lol

2006-06-04T19:12:00.001+08:00

Hey ppl..it's been like almost half a month since i've posted a new entry...Sorry for the wait..I've been really busy with school, my band, and some other stuff..I know.. those are just excuses..but what matters the most is that here's my new entry yea...lol...

Let's see..Alot has been happening...Firstly....school..I really dont wanna talk bout it...I mean..most ppl should know y..It's been a big mess there and it has affected me and everyone else in some way i suppose...By now..I guess every individual in class should know who their true friends are....I do for sure..

My band...we had a gig at MoMo's last night..was pretty happening..The other bands and even the soundman liked our sound...I'm really glad bout that...but sad to say..our slot was brought forward at the last minute and some of our friends didnt make it in time..sorry to those who bought the tics and were not able to see us play..Do watch out for our Live EP..Should be comin' your way in a couple of months time:)

Hmmmm....I really don't know what else to add..lol..Oh..the Sentosa trip on wednesday...Make sure I see all of u there eh...If i'm going that is..Chu Yun, Cindy, Shu Hui, Jenny, Diana, Shawny, Wandi, Sharhira and everyone else...haha..Too many names to name..lol..

Alright alright..I better end off here before someone says I talk too much..haha..

As usual...Here goes..

"The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home.”

Peace..
Ashlee

What The Hell Is Going On!?!?!?

2006-05-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

Seriously man...I think there's a serious virus going on in the class..lol..Everyone in the class is falling sick...First, it was Clara, then...Kelvin, and Chu Yun...and soon..*I can't imagine*..omg..it's spreading fast..so everyone..do take cover..lol..And those who are already hit by the disaster, do get well soon..heh..
Anyway..there has been alot going on in school and stuff..I guess most ppl who'll be reading this will know what i'm talking bout huh..haha..Well, I just hope that all the drama that's going on will quit being so drama..You know wot I mean..heh.. School's been really tiring apart from all the drama going on...It's like a war everyday...On somedays, the wars are easy and they end really early..and as for other days, the wars are tough and draggy...Somebody save me!!!...lol..Regardless of all that has happened, I must still say that I'm really glad of the friends I have in school now...You guys rock..I really mean that:)
So before I go..I'm gonna sign off with the following quote...

"Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever."

Night ppl..
Ashlee

The day after tomorrow....

2006-05-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

Hey!!!! A big shoutout to everone out there...LOL...It's my first ever blog..haha..I think i'm really "WOLS"..outdated perhapse... lol..Oh well..Was never interested by the whole bloggin trend till now so wat the heck..I'm just gonna go with the flow and blog..haha..
Yesterday was pretty fun..had a BBQ thing at my house and it went pretty well i'd say..I guess everyone who showed had fun..I met WeiLun and ShuHui early in the morning at like 1oAM....That was nuts..I usually stay in bed till prolly 2pm on weekends??? Thanks to them..I was up by 9.30AM..man..Not long after, we met up with Xindee and Diana...We had breakfast, then we just sat around and slack..haha..there was a lil' of everything going on..music, movie, talking, "laming"...haha..Then at around 1pm, Felix and Lucinda arrived and shortly after them, Kelvin made his grand apprearance..lol..we kinda expected him at like 10am or something..So..what happened was we played some badminton and basketball before it started raining..Sadly, we got back to my place and there was a session of blackjack..lol..was pretty fun..Eventually, the food we ordered for the BBQ arrived and so did Sabita, Oswind, Jenny and Wandi..We played truth or dare which turned out really intense..dont think i should elarborate right guys?..haha..Anyway..the day ended with Kelvin, Lucinda and I chatting till 1am..and Lucinda staying at my place..We even went to the dog farm together this morning..heh..Well..the rest of my day consist of me slacking, sleeping and now..blogging..hhaha..BTW, b4 I go..I wanna say thanks to all who made yesterday happened and I really hope that there'll be more of such gatherings in the future:) And to those who didn't make it..you guys better show the next time..you know who i'm talking bout right ChuYun..heh..Alright alright..I better get going..See ya'll in school..Goodnight..sweet dreams..TC!..
Peace,
Ash